Whelmed

“I know you can be overwhelmed and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you ever just be whelmed?”  That’s one of my favorite lines from 10 Things I Hate About You.  The word “overwhelmed” has come up a lot lately.  It is how I have felt and how many of my friends and family have felt.  Between multiple deaths in the family, health problems, my toddler teetering on potty training, our house that hasn’t sold and many expenses coming up, life is overwhelming. 

For months I have felt like I was drowning.  The rain kept pouring down on me, the waters kept getting higher and higher and the waves kept getting rougher and rougher.  There I am, treading water, trying to keep my head above the surface.  I felt like I was drifting far away from those that I loved.  I couldn’t be the encourager I once was.  I couldn’t be the sounding board for my friends and family that I once was.  I found my eyes rolling and a huff coming out of my mouth when I saw a text come through with another prayer request.  “I just can’t” became my automatic response. 

Months ago my friend Amanda started a new business.  She designs all sorts of things that can be put on coffee mugs, cell phone covers, tshirts.  You name it, she can probably do it.  One of the things that she designed was a cell phone cover.  The background has blue and white stripes.  There’s a blue anchor with flowers on it.  The design struck me months ago and I kept coming back to it.  Something about it resonated deep within me but I couldn’t figure out why this was so meaningful.

The text on it reads “My Anchor Holds Within The Veil”.     This is taken from a popular song called “Cornerstone”.  It talks about how our hope is built on Jesus alone.  Though the winds may blow, he holds us secure.  The second verse says “When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging grace.  In every high and stormy gale, my Anchor holds within the veil”. 

What is this “veil” referring to?  In the old testament, the Israelites were instructed by God to build a temple for God to dwell in. There was a series of rooms in this temple and only certain people had access to the innermost rooms.  The Holy of Holies was where God’s spirit dwelled.  Only once a year, the High Priest was the only one allowed to enter to offer sacrifices on behalf of all of Israel.  It was such a sacred space that if he had not cleansed himself properly, both physically and spiritually, he would die as soon as he stepped in.  They would literally tie a rope around the priest’s ankle to pull him out in case this happened.  To enter the Holy of Holies, the priest would pass through a veil.  The veil was the dividing line between Holy and unholy.  We are told in Matthew 27:51 that when Jesus died, the veil in the temple was torn in two from top to bottom.  The Holy of Holies was no longer needed.  Jesus Christ was the ultimate sacrifice to cleanse us all.  From that point on, those that accept Christ as their Savior receive the Holy Spirit to dwell in them.  Their hearts become the Holy of Holies. 

The “veil” the song is referring to is God’s presence.  The winds may blow, the waters may crash around me, but my Anchor holds me steady within God’s presence. That is the message my heart knew I needed to hear months ago.  I wasn’t connecting the dots until I received that design placed on a coffee mug- Lord knows how much I love coffee! 

I have been slowly making my way through a book called You’re Made For a God-Sized Dream by Holley Gerth.  In what can only be God’s timing, this morning I read what Holley wrote about rain changing your perspective.  She talked about how when the rain pours down, we have a choice as to what we do with it.  We can choose to let it make us bitter or better.  “Decide now that your response to the rain will be to see that every drop can lead to growth.”  She goes on to say that today’s showers turn into tomorrow’s flowers. 

After reading that this morning, I looked at my mug.  There are flowers on the anchor.  What a wonderful picture!  Yes, I have felt overwhelmed.  Yes, I have felt like I was drowning.  But my anchor has always been held within the veil, within God’s presence.  Eventually, the storm will cease.  And where there was once a flood, there will be growth.  There will be flowers.  The devastation of the flood will be replaced with beauty. 

Someday my “overwhelmed” will be replaced with “whelmed”.  I’m getting there.  I feel like Noah as he began to see the flood waters recede.  He sent out the raven to see if it was safe to leave the ark.  The raven flew around for a while but saw nowhere to land so he came back to Noah.  7 days later, he sent out a dove with the same results.  Noah sent out a second dove which returned with an olive branch letting him know the growth was significant enough to finally know that the flood was over.  I’ve been testing the waters, seeing growth in my life and seeing my good friends joy and peace peek out. 

Noah and his family left the ark and prepared an alter to make sacrifices to the Lord.  The Lord put a rainbow in the sky- a visual promise that never again will a flood like that happen.  Never Again.  Those two words are used 5 times in that short passage.  God knew that what had happened was terrible.  There was death and devastation.  He reassured Noah that what had happened would never happen again.  Yes, there would be rain.  There would be hard times.  But God promised- never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. 

I have made that passage a prayer over my life.  I’ve faced a flood of death and devastation.  My prayer is that God sees my obedience in seeking Him.  I pray that I have glorified Him in the midst of my flood.  I pray that as we have struggled, we have been a light to others in the same boat (no pun intended!).  I’m still looking for my rainbow.  I know its coming.  I know my God won’t leave me in a flood forever.  But for now, my anchor holds within the veil.