Called 2 Bow

Praise Jesus for 2016!   New year.   New word.   I’ve been trying to figure out my new word all week.   I thought about “courageous” since facing life lately has taken courage.   Along the same vein, I thought about “brave”.   I found a sign that says “Be Brave Little One”.   I love that and I think of it as God telling me, his child, to be brave.   That’s very comforting.   Mom and I were discussing this all week too as she was wrestling with naming her word for the year.   She chose “held”.   Instantly I was jealous that I didn’t think of that!   Yesterday I confessed my jealousy to her and we agreed that we could share a word this year.   So there it is, my word is “HELD”.   One of the reasons that this word is precious to me is because of the song Held by Natalie Grant.   I remember listening to it over and over in the car during my pregnancy with the twins.   It brought me comfort before I knew what a true need for comfort felt like.   Here are the lyrics: Two months is

My mom started a New Years tradition years ago.   Many people come up with New Years resolutions which are all well and good but lets be honest, they only last til February.   So instead of a list of items that never get done, mom just comes up with one word.   It’s a word that God impresses upon her heart to help guide her through the coming year.   Its amazing how that one word will pop up throughout the year, reminding you of God’s presence and guidance.   I picked up the tradition a couple years back. I started with “adventure” as that was the year that Trey was born.   I wanted to put a positive spin on the challenges of being a new mom.   Everything that year was an adventure for sure! 2015’s word was “Thanksgiving”.   Now you have to understand that my sense of humor is a bit warped as of late.   The other day when I thought about my word for the year I kind of chuckled.   A year of infertility, pregnancy with twins and then losing twins doesn’t seem like a time for thank

I love worship music.   I was raised with worship music.   My mother has an amazing voice and plays the piano with ease.   I was raised singing with her in church.   I have fond memories of standing next to her in church as we harmonized with eachother.   I don’t even know how to sing melody.   Harmony is so ingrained in me.   When I hear a new song I sing along as I’m learning it, picking up on the harmony right away.   I love that my mom taught me to do that.   When I connect with a song I will play it over and over.   About a month ago, our worship team played a new song.   I was struck by the lyrics and couldn’t even sing along.   I just stood and listened as the lyrics washed over me.   A friend posted the music video on facebook and I have been playing it over and over.   It says what I’ve been trying to say for months.   That’s the beauty of music.   It has a way of communicating the depths of our hearts better than we could ever utter in just words.   Here are the lyrics:

I took an unintentional hiatus from writing.  Life has been nothing short of crazy between the holidays and moving (ugh).  But I have been planning to write about all the ways that people have supported us in this journey.  Planning without an inspiration.  Of course, your support is inspiration in and of itself but I have felt empty lately.  Empty of emotion.  I’m running on empty.  But today during church I felt my soul perk up a bit.  John Maxwell spoke today, which is always a treat.  He spoke from Matthew 25:34-40.  I saw it in a whole new light today.  The way people have supported us has been extremely humbling.  It has been hard to accept.  I’m usually the one serving, the one bringing meals, the one helping to clean houses.  I’m not used to sitting back and letting people help me.  But today I saw it differently.  My friends and family were not serving me.  They were serving Jesus.  No, I’m not saying I’m Jesus.  Once you see the context of scripture, you’ll get it.  Stick wi

The Presents of God.  See what I did there?  Presents? Presence?  My teacher friends are probably dying right now.  You used the wrong word!  Nope.  I didn’t.  God’s Presence is a present.  Many people have asked how we are getting through this experience of losing our babies.  God’s presence has been so evident.  We can’t deny his hand in all of this. Each time he showed up is a present.  It almost got to the point where we were looking forward to the next time he would show up. I want to let you in on the presents of his Presence .  Hindsight is 20/20.  Looking back on this pregnancy, there were signs of trouble.  The first is that I never had a peace about it.  Of course I was overjoyed.  We had tried for so long for these babies.  But from the moment I found out I was pregnant I was riddled with anxiety.  I couldn’t sleep a wink.  For my mama friends out there- think about the fatigue in the first trimester.  Now think about that fatigue and not being able to sleep.  It was a

Today marks one month of the twins celebrating their heavenly birthday. It has been a whirlwind of a month.  Between planning the memorial, Halloween festivities for Trey, family being in town, getting ready to put our house on the market, etc it has been crazy.  The support we have received has been overwhelming.  We’ve had many visitors bringing meals and thoughtful gifts.  Some have heard our story but there are many who have not.  For those who have not, I wanted you to be able to hear it too.  I know there are many questions to be answered- Lord knows I have a lot of my own.  So I will share what answers I have, knowing full well that some will never be answered this side of heaven.  So here goes: Sunday, October 18 th , I woke up feeling horrible.  I had terrible cramps- not the coming and going cramps of contractions but constant abdominal pain.  Walking, sitting, laying down- all was difficult.  But I still wanted to go to church. I felt horrible but church was almost a br

I have always admired those that have the gift of words and use that gift to write books and blogs that inspired and encourage.  I’ve always dreamt of being one of those writers someday.  However, the idea of actually sitting down to write something important baffled me.  Sure, I’ve written papers for school and quippy status updates on facebook.  But sitting down to write, just to write, with the hopes that it would one day be an encouragement to others - that seemed beyond me.  But it is exactly the point of what you are reading. This is an act of obedience.  This is obeying a whisper.   Let me go back to the beginning... August 12 th , 2010.  This was an ordinary day.  I went to work as I normally do.  However, there are days that God takes your ordinary and makes them extraordinary.  As I was working with a patient, my back went out.  I am talking extraordinary pain.  I struggled to get through my work with that patient without showing that I was in pain.  As soon as the pati

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