Grammy's legacy

Here we are again.  Grief.  Too soon.  This time I lost my Grammy.  This time the circumstances were a bit easier seeing as she was 91 so she had lived a long, beautiful life.  Last week I got a call from my mother.  She said that her mom who has been on hospice for a month was asking for her.  She felt like she needed to be with her.  I asked if she needed me with her now or at the memorial.  Grammy lives in Pennsylvania so chances are I wouldn’t be able to do both.  I wanted to be there for my mom, to hold her hand as she faced one of the worst things she’d ever have to face- the loss of her mom.  Mom held my hand as I faced the worst – losing my babies.  Love goes both ways.  Thankfully she asked me to come with her.  I spent 6 days in Pennsylvania at my Grammy’s bedside, serving my mom and aunt as they walked this difficult road.  6 days is plenty of time to reflect on my own journey and what I have learned from this woman who was at the end of hers.

 

Grammy was feisty.  This is my favorite way to describe her.  When she was in her 80s and still driving she got into a car accident.  She was hit by a truck driver so she was contacted by the company’s lawyers.  They were trying to blame the accident on her but Grammy knew better.  She told that lawyer what for.  He laughed and said “well you’re a feisty one aren’t you.”  Grammy wouldn’t stand for injustice.  Another time she fell on her way into her hairdresser’s.  Her head was bleeding so they wanted to call the paramedics to have her checked out.  However, my feisty Grammy refused to leave until she got her hair done.  Last week we spent a lot of time singing old hymns by her bedside.  She would wake up for a moment, say “I love you” and drift off to sleep.  Multiple times we would stop and say I guess we better stop since she’s asleep.  Then Grammy’s head would pop up and she’d say “Nope!  I hear you!”  Cracked us up every time!  I always loved how Grammy knew what she wanted and stood up for herself.

 

Grammy was strong.  She and Pop Pop got married right before he joined the Army and fought in World War II.  She spent her first two years of marriage without her husband.  I can’t imagine watching a war rage on without knowing if your loved one would return.  I freaked out the other night because I fell asleep before knowing if my husband got home safely from work- 20 minutes away.  She and Pop Pop had 3 kids but she was far from a stay at home mom.  She worked nights, did people’s ironing and laundry all the while being home for her kids.  The woman never stopped.  We always joked about how hard it was to keep up with her- even as she aged.  If there was something that needed to be done, Grammy would get it done.  No matter what.  When I had my son I was given a quilt made by my Grammy.  This came at the perfect time.  I was a stressed out new mommy.  But receiving that quilt reminded me of the legacy she left.  Her strength inspired me to be a strong mom- to do what needs to be done for the welfare of my family. 

 

Grammy was wise.  She was raised as a Mennonite.  I call them the cousins to the Amish- not quite as strict but they still had a lot of strict rules.  Most of the rules were about how they should dress.  Mennonites did everything the opposite of cultural norms.  For example, when she got married, she was forced to cut her wedding dress to the knee because long gowns were in style.  The preacher also refused to marry them at first because she was wearing open toed shoes.  But my feisty and strong grammy just stuffed cotton balls in her shoes so her toes would be covered!  All that to say, she recognized from an early age that the Mennonite religion was more about what she could and couldn’t do- as opposed to what it truly meant to be a follower of God.  She and Pop Pop decided to leave the church and found one that taught scripture and how to have a relationship with Christ.  They raised three godly kids, who have continued their influence within the church and their own families.  Grammy knew scripture.  She schooled my pastor father multiple times on Bible trivia.  I’m grateful for the wisdom that she sought, received from the Lord and bestowed upon us. 

 

Grammy was a servant.  One of her favorite things to do was to cook for her family and friends.  When I say “cook”, I mean creating a “feast”.  That table would be covered in Grammy delicacies: roast beef, carrots, pink applesauce, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc.  She would make sure that each child and grandchild would have their favorites on the table- my favorite was her creamed corn.  Of course everything was homemade.  When I was little she would always bring us ring bologna and cheese.  Because my Grammy was an amazing cook, I always thought she made the cheese herself.  I would boast to my friends that my Grammy makes the best cheese. As an adult, I realize that it was just white American cheese.   Grammy would spend hours in the kitchen making sure that she created the perfect meal.  Pop Pop would end every meal by leaning back in his chair, rubbing his stuffed belly and say “Well, I did it again” because when Grammy cooks you can’t stop eating until your belly will not allow even one more bite. 

 

At the end of someone’s life we honor them by identifying their strengths and how we can apply those strengths to our lives.  I can only hope to have an ounce of her feistiness.  I want to be strong for my family.  I want to be wise- to discern the difference between rules and Truth.  Lastly, I want to be a servant- one that serves out of love.  I am so thankful for the family God placed me in. I’m thankful for the godly role models he placed over me- for the legacy they leave.  I pray that I will take these lessons and allow them to carry on for the generations to come.