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Year 10

To my sweet boy,      Year 10.  Ooph.  Double digits.  It feels like just yesterday I was waiting for your dad to get home to take me to the hospital to deliver you.  I was in awe of you.  I had already studied you from inside the womb.  I felt I knew you.  I knew how you loved to push boundaries (right against my ribs) and I joke how I was teaching you to obey from the womb.  You made me crave peanut butter which is still one of your favorite foods.        Fast forward. I think the last letter I wrote to you on the eve of your birthday was in 2020.  Anyone reading this will chuckle at the mention of that year.  Lord have mercy.  My word for that year was “new” and boy did it bring a lot of “new”.   Here’s a direct quote from my last letter to you, “I’m excited to see the “New” things He will do this year.  Part of my “New” I promise to you is an investment in you.  Addie takes ...
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What's the Word?

Corona.   That word sends a shutter down each of our spines.   So many words flood our minds after the word “corona” is uttered.   Sickness.   Contagious.   Hospital.   Ventilator.   Death.   Unknown.   Isolation.   Quarantine.   Social Distancing.   Alright… that’s enough.   Words have power.   Read those words again.   What do you feel when you read them?   Tightness in your chest?   Teeth clenched.?   Shoulders rising?   Your breathing becoming shallow?   No- you don’t have Corona.   That’s anxiety.   I’ve spent the last year studying my anxiety and how it presents itself in my life.   I joked with a friend the other day that “anxiety has become my bestie. Bonnie and Clyde.   Burt and Ernie.   Thelma and Louise.”   Words have the power to allow my little bestie to inch closer and closer.   If I don’t keep an eye on it, its familiar hug becomes a no...
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Emmanuel

As the band played the first couple chords of worship, I took a deep breath in preparation.   I recognized the song immediately.   Those first couple chords are like greeting a long lost friend.   Its not just my mouth that sang the words to the song- I felt it deep down in my soul.   So much hurt and yet so much celebration is attached to the song.   Inhale… Exhale… “You give life. You give love. You bring light to the darkness. You bring hope.   You restore Every heart that is broken. Great are you Lord…” My voice caught on the words and I was moved to tears.   My hand raised up as my soul cried out.   As I sang those familiar words, my mind traveled to a distant past.   In my mind’s eye I was transported to my backyard on a brisk November day.   With coffee in hand, I stood in the cold breeze singing those same words.   We had just lost the twins a month prior to this.   My heart was broken and I ...
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