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Year 10

To my sweet boy,      Year 10.  Ooph.  Double digits.  It feels like just yesterday I was waiting for your dad to get home to take me to the hospital to deliver you.  I was in awe of you.  I had already studied you from inside the womb.  I felt I knew you.  I knew how you loved to push boundaries (right against my ribs) and I joke how I was teaching you to obey from the womb.  You made me crave peanut butter which is still one of your favorite foods.        Fast forward. I think the last letter I wrote to you on the eve of your birthday was in 2020.  Anyone reading this will chuckle at the mention of that year.  Lord have mercy.  My word for that year was “new” and boy did it bring a lot of “new”.   Here’s a direct quote from my last letter to you, “I’m excited to see the “New” things He will do this year.  Part of my “New” I promise to you is an investment in you.  Addie takes ...
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I saw Him

I’m much more anxious with this pregnancy than I thought I would be.  We knew we wanted another child.  We were trying so none of this is a surprise.  I have talked to other women who lost children and then went on to have more.  Every fear that I have is valid.  Every one has been felt by any woman who has lost a child. I almost feel like I’ve been holding my breath, waiting for something bad to happen.  Knowing the last six months, you can’t really blame me. Today I had my first doctor’s appointment, with a new OB.  This morning I prayed over the appointment.  I journaled all of my fears and I combatted each one with truth.  I was afraid of not seeing anything on the ultrasound.  The truth of the matter was that it is really early to see anything so an unclear ultrasound was a possibility.  That would just mean I would have to wait a couple more weeks for the baby to develop enough to be seen.  That’s not the worst thi...
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Method to our Madness

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