Year 6


Dear Trey,

I can’t believe another year has passed us by.  There are often times when I look at you and the breath gets knocked out of me because you look so grown up.  Tonight we drove passed the hospital where you were born on the way to a church event.  I pointed to the hospital and told you about how we were there 6 years ago.  I told you how I was hooked up to all sorts of monitors and had an oxygen mask on my face.  I also told you about how happy I was that night.  I remember labor being full of joy (once you are grown up you will realize what a weird statement that is).  I was full of joy because I had waited so long for you.  You are a miracle born out of prayer.  I was full of joy because God brought your daddy home from a 5 day international trip at just the right moment- I’m not kidding- my water broke just as he landed (FYI- I’m writing this at 10pm.  My water broke at 10pm on January 4th, 2013).  I was full of joy because of the calm that washed over me.  I have never been so relaxed.  You calmed me.  I was going to be a mama.  You filled me with joy.  I love this tradition of writing a letter to you on the eve of your birthday.  It helps me reflect on the year, your growth and my growth as a mama.  Truth be told, I think you teach me more than I could ever possibly teach you. 

We tried a “big boy” haircut a while ago- for that I am truly sorry.  I was hoping to give you a cut with style and it did not turn out at all!  We quickly went back to your short and sweet hair, just like your daddy’s.  Right now your grin is a short a few teeth.  You have lost two on the bottom and three on the top. You are straight up adorable.  You lost the top middle two right before Christmas and I showed you a video of a little girl singing “All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” and teased that you needed to sing that for Christmas.  You looked at me wide eyed and said “I don’t want to sing”!  Lesson learned: go with haircuts that fit you, not try to fit a haircut onto you.  Also, keep dollars in my wallet to play “toothfairy” at a moment’s notice. 

You started kindergarten at a new school at Hawthorne Elementary this year.  I think I was a lot more nervous about this school year than you were.  We loved your time at Shallowford Presbyterian and you made such great friends there.  I was anxious as we were all walking into a brand new school and we didn’t know anyone- student or parent.  But you always walk into situations with confidence.  You have excellent teachers- Mrs.  Hendrix, Mrs. Stephens and Mrs.  Roberts.  They are wonderful and seem to love you.  At the last parent/teacher conference, Mrs. Hendrix was laughing so hard as she told me about how she presented you with an assignment saying, “Trey, would you like to do ______?”  You politely said “no thank you”.  She quickly learned that she needed to say “Trey, its time to do ______” and not give you an option to politely refuse.  But she says that you are always so polite and that you are a great example to the other students.  That makes Daddy and I so proud of you.  Lesson learned: be brave and when in doubt, be polite.   

You are still working on your speech.  You have a new speech teacher, Mrs. Elizabeth.  She works at your school- and lives right next to us!  She’s your friend Aiden’s mom.  It is so fun to be friends with your teacher.  Every once in a while, I get a text telling me how sweet you are.  I got one a while ago about how helpful you are.  You help with the games that you play in your speech small group.  Mrs. Elizabeth was very impressed by your kindness. Your speech has improved a lot.  You can pronounce those more complex sounds now.  You’ve developed a bit of a stutter though.  Its as if now that you can pronounce words better, your brain goes faster than your mouth can move and you get jumbled.  Also, I think you get distracted when you speak and you don’t focus on communication.  We’re working on that.  I’m sure its just a phase.  You still say “Chicken a Fwey” for “Chick Fil A” and we love it.  Your daddy and I still say that and I think it will just be a family thing. I’m sure you’ll grow up to hate it later, but deal with it 😊.    You also say “ga-next” for “next” and “a-hind” for “behind”.  Just cute little words that I’ll be sad to see disappear.  Your favorite catch phrase is “Ouchie Wa Wa!”, which you and your friend Graham say all the time.  Lesson learned:  Speech issues are just a phase.  No need to stress over it.  You’ll get it. 

One thing that has started this year that I believe has come from your developing confidence in speech is singing.  You have always been a singer but most of the time it is just humming.  But you have really started to sing songs that everyone can understand.  Jingle Bells, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and Bye Bye Black Sheep are a few of your favorite songs.  **Side note: I thought that last one was from school but I learned recently that Granjoy has been singing that to you since you were a baby.  I love that you have such a sweet grandma that loves you so much and sings to you.  It truly brings a tear to my eye.  You are loved, son.  May you never forget that.**  I just love to hear you sing.  I have always loved to sing- I get that from your Grammy- and I have waited so long to hear songs come from you.  Lesson learned: never, ever stop singing. 

Watching TV is still your favorite thing to do.  We’re working on limiting screen time.  Your favorite shows are Ghostbusters, Super Mario Brothers, and Tom and Jerry.  Love that you love the classics!  We were the Ghostbusters cast for Halloween this year: you were a ghostbuster, I was Janine, Daddy was the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and Addie was Slimer.  We had fun trick or treating with friends this year!  You had a Super Mario Birthday Tree this year.  Lesson learned: appreciate the classics- eventually lets broaden our horizons to classic books, not just TV.  Remind me to read Hunchback of Notre Dame to you. 

You love your sister well.  Yes, you are typical siblings that fight.  And lately, your sister has been a challenge (toddler).  But buddy, you are the best big brother.  When I’m tired and just can’t handle the fight, you concede and offer the toy to Addie.  You play with her.  You can’t wait to go get her first thing in the morning or after her nap.  Sometimes you know what she wants before I do.  The other day I was exhausted and driving home from church.  She was screaming.  I was offering her food and toys to no avail.  She was inconsolable.   Then you piped up and said “I think I know what she wants mom” and you handed her her blanket.  She quieted right down.  Your dad and I were amazed.  You did it, buddy.  You calmed her.  Lesson learned: sometimes as a parent I think I know it all.  I think I’m in control.  But clearly, you are paying attention too.  You are learning.  You are listening.  You have a pivotal role in this family.  Sometimes mom is the answer.  But sometimes brother is the answer.

Again, we are back to calming.  That is a major role you play in this family.  Another HUGE thing that happened this year is when I broke my ankle.  Again, it was YOU that calmed me.  Your presence kept me present and alert.  Your presence kept me from freaking out.  I’ll never forget you pulling up your chair to comfort me as I writhed in pain.  I’ll never forget you bringing me pillows and a blanket as we waited for help to arrive.  You did it on the night you were born and you did it this year in the case of emergency.  You are the calm. 

I have been reflecting a lot lately over my lack of calm.  I’m not a calm mama.  I am emotionally fueled.  When bad things happen, I’m not proud to say it but I’m a yeller.  I hate that about myself.  I hate that that is how you are treated, my sweet boy.  Every year at new years I pick a word for the year to help me focus and grow.  This year I am choosing “Pause” as my word for the year.  I want to “pause” before I erupt.  I want to give you the calm responses that you deserve.  You are a sweet, kind boy who deserves a kind mama.  I make you that promise on your sixth birthday.  I promise to “pause”.  I promise to  give you the gift of “calm” that you have given me so often.  I love you with every ounce of my being.  You are a miracle from God and He has BIG plans for you, my sweet boy. 



Love,

Your Mama

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