Called 2 Bow

I love coffee.   I come from a long line of coffee drinkers so its in my blood.   I love the smell.   I love the warmth of the mug in my hands.   I remember learning to make coffee for my mom when I was little and taking it to her with pride.   In all honesty it probably had more coffee grounds floating in it than it should but my mom always drank it.   Its one of those mom things- if your kid makes it for you, you eat it.   I truly look forward to Trey learning to make coffee for me- no matter what crazy consistency it has.   My coffee tastes have changed over the years.   When I first started drinking coffee it was of the Frappuccino variety- very sweet and flavored.   I’ve been able to back off the sweeteners and just use cream.   Someday I might be like my mom and drink it black but I’m not there yet.   My church has a wonderful ministry where they set up coffee for us to enjoy during the service.   While I appreci...

I always look forward to Easter.   Easter was a big deal when I was a kid.   I remember all the frilly dresses and white patent leather shoes.   Mom used to make a special breakfast for us- cinnamon rolls or one year she got bagels and individually wrapped them in spring colored saran wrap to make it festive.   I remember the amazing smell of hyacinths that lined the stage at church.   We used to have our cousins over for Easter dinner and an egg hunt after church.    One year it was a scavenger hunt where each egg contained a clue to find our Easter surprises.   I remember finding a My Little Pony in the freezer and a kite in the trunk of our car.   These are all the things that I have looked forward to sharing with Trey.   This year things haven’t gone as planned. Thursday Trey woke up and wasn’t himself.   He was lethargic and kept saying “sleepy”.   I loaded him into the car to go to school and he fell asleep on the ...

A while ago I was asked to share the “Do’s and Don’ts” of supporting a friend through grief.   This is a tough subject- hence avoiding it this long.   Its tough because grief is tough.   Its tough because it can be so subjective.   My experience and what was helpful to me could be the total opposite of what someone else needs.   But I do think I have learned a few things about how to be a supportive friend.   First and foremost: as a friend that is looking to help someone stuck in the arms of grief, don’t disappear .   Grief is a time when you find out who your true friends are.   Your true friends are the ones that will step into the yuck of life.   They are brave souls who don’t shy away from a challenge.   They are the ones that step up, sit with you, cry with you.   It doesn’t take much.   Just your presence- just a bit of normal.   “Normal” takes on a new meaning when you are grieving.   You grasp for it, ...

We did it.   We got through D-Day, the twin’s due date.   It was a busy day.   It was a day of remembrance.   It was a day of joy.   I think we successfully re-claimed the day.   It could have been a day marked with sadness and pain.   But we chose to claim ownership of our memories and not be hostages of them.   Memories of tragedy can take you captive and replay over and over in your mind.   Or you can create new memories.   The old ones are always there, don’t get me wrong, but they are re-purposed like those TV shows where they take things found in flea markets and make them into something beautiful. Saturday started like any other Saturday but we had so much more in store for us.   By 1:30pm we were in full celebration mode.   A dear friend came over to take our annual family pictures.   This year we had an addition.   We were given a beautiful memorial stone to place in our new backyard.   The inscri...

I feel like sometimes God plays a little game with me.   I feel like he works in patterns or repeated stories- just to see if I’m paying attention.   For example, every Sunday morning my mom sends us kids a text sharing how she is praying for us or a scripture to encourage or challenge us.   This morning she talked about how we can’t have any do-overs with our words.   She quoted James 1:19 and challenged us to be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.   Fast forward 10 hours- I’m sitting in church and the pastor is speaking on the power of the tongue.   What passage does he tell us to turn to first?   James 1:19.   Well played, God.   Well played.   I see what you are doing.   I’ll listen intently because I know that there is something you have for me. One other example of how God has used repeated stories or patterns in my life comes from April 2011.   I was reading an AMAZING book called The Circle Maker by Mar...

Today is the twin’s due date, or what I have lovingly called “D-Day”.   It’s a day of mixed emotions.   This is a date I have looked forward to and dreaded.   Its funny how our emotions can play tricks on us.   How one moment we can be happy and another moment we can feel devastated.   This day is one of those days that are full of complexities.   I look forward to it for closure.   Of course even in the beginning we didn’t really know when they would come.   A due date is just a guess.   Chances are if I had carried the twins to term they still would have been born weeks ago because twins typically come early.   But I still had this day set aside in my mind as the end.   A day to look at what could have been. I was told early on that this could be a difficult day.   For that reason we made plans for today.   We were given a memorial stone for our new backyard by Denny’s aunt.   Such a precious gift.   ...