As 2015 comes to a close...


My mom started a New Years tradition years ago.  Many people come up with New Years resolutions which are all well and good but lets be honest, they only last til February.  So instead of a list of items that never get done, mom just comes up with one word.  It’s a word that God impresses upon her heart to help guide her through the coming year.  Its amazing how that one word will pop up throughout the year, reminding you of God’s presence and guidance.  I picked up the tradition a couple years back. I started with “adventure” as that was the year that Trey was born.  I wanted to put a positive spin on the challenges of being a new mom.  Everything that year was an adventure for sure!

2015’s word was “Thanksgiving”.  Now you have to understand that my sense of humor is a bit warped as of late.  The other day when I thought about my word for the year I kind of chuckled.  A year of infertility, pregnancy with twins and then losing twins doesn’t seem like a time for thanksgiving.  But then I really looked at it.  Yes, we went through a lot this year.  But we also have a lot to be thankful for.  

As 2015 began, we had already faced months of infertility.  I claimed that word because I knew that 2015 would be a year of new life.  I was claiming God’s promise of a child.  I was looking ahead with thanksgiving for that child.  Looking back, even with the loss of the twins, we still have reason to be thankful.  Two lives were created. Prayers were answered. 

Looking back at 2015 I can be grateful for God’s provision in an amazing husband.  I would never wish infertility and child loss on anyone but I can be thankful for the growth that has happened in my marriage.  The last year has been HARD.  We’ve had a lot of difficult discussions and decisions that had to be made.  I have seen God work in my life and in Denny’s.  Nothing brings me greater joy than seeing evidence of God’s presence in Denny’s life.  I love hearing Denny talk about what God is teaching him.   I cannot imagine going through this with anyone but him. 

Another area of thanksgiving is my son Trey.  If you know my son, you know that he is FULL of life!  The kid never stops.  As frustrating as that can be, I love his energy.  I love his curiosity.  I love his craziness because it makes the brief moments where he’ll pause and crawl up in my lap for cuddles so much sweeter.  There is nothing better in life than seeing the smile that lights up his face when he sees me.  He reminds me to be thankful. 

Yet another area of thanksgiving is the purpose we see in loss.  When we were planning the memorial for the twins we decided to ask people to donate to Jewels from Heaven in lieu of flowers.  This ministry supports 17 orphans in India with plans to take on 7 more kids by May.  Honestly, I didn’t expect much out of this because I didn’t think people sent flowers anymore.  Well, God blew my mind again.  We have raised $1200 so far- and counting!  God is so good.  Lucas and Lorelei are spreading their influence all the way to India.  That money can be used to serve those children who get to grow up in a godly, safe home.  They get to know what it means to be loved.  That is worth thanking God. 

There are always things to be thankful for- even in the midst of pain.  God creates beauty out of ashes.  The death of a dream doesn’t mean its over.  God takes our hurts and brings life.  It may not be a life of a baby (or two).  It may be the potential to change the lives of 24 babies across the world.  We cannot sit in hurt.  That is not God’s design.  He may allow difficulties and traumas in our life.  But along with those comes a calling.  It’s a calling to take part in a bigger dream.  Your involvement is your choice.  You can choose to sit in bitterness and anger or seek His face, find thanksgiving and see lives change.  I’m friends with the missionary who takes care of those beautiful children in India.  I love seeing videos of her kids.  I love seeing the joy on their faces as they make crafts and cover themselves with glitter.  I love watching them sweetly recite memory verses.  I choose joy.  As 2015 comes to a close, I choose thanksgiving.   

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