Called 2 Bow

I have always been the parent that celebrates every mile stone.  Holding his bottle:  I will never forget this day.  I was so excited because that was a few free moments where he was occupied.  Oh the possibilities of what I could do with free hands as he fed himself!  Crawling: cheers and excitement even when the nay-sayers said “you just wait, now you won’t be able to keep him contained”.  Walking: even more cheers because that means I don’t have to carry him everywhere.  All celebrations aside, there is one milestone that I have been dreading for 3 years: potty training.  I’m a germaphobe so the idea of “accidents” terrified me- not to mention having to take him to a public bathroom.  Ew.  The tantrums.  I could hear the screaming in my head when I just thought about potty training.  Not sure whose tantrums would be louder: his or mine.  We toured Trey’s new school a few months ago.  I asked what their polic...

I love the “On this day” feature on facebook.  I love the reminders of what has happened the last few years.  Facebook reminded me that three years ago we celebrated our son’s dedication to the Lord.  We gathered with family and friends and vowed to raise him in a godly home, raising him to love the Lord above all.  Child dedications are a big deal in our family.  We were excited to continue this godly tradition with our Trey.  Normally it is done at church but I’m blessed with a wonderful father who is a pastor.  He dedicated my brother and I so we asked him to dedicate Trey.  Of course, the doting grandfather said yes!  So we invited friends and family to come to the house and had a whole service just for us.  We sang two songs that were meaningful to us during trey’s pregnancy.  My father in law prayed for us.  Then dad shared a devotional which included the meaning of Trey’s names and the significance to raising him ...

I’ve had a memory that has resurfaced and keeps coming up in my mind as of late.  Its odd because I can’t connect it with a trigger. There’s no sight, sound or smell that brings it on.  It just seems to come up out of nowhere.  Today I was driving to a friend’s house and it popped in my mind again.  I ran the memory all the way through like a slideshow in my mind.  I searched for the significance- other than it just being a HUGE moment in my life.  I realized that this memory pinpoints when my grief began. Losing the twins was sad, extremely painful and difficult.  But I realized that my grief did not start until a few days after it was all over.  I remember where I was and what I was doing.  I remember the cold, hard truth hitting me in the face with the force of a lead baseball bat.  I remember having to face the facts of our new normal the first time by calling the funeral home.  That was not an easy call to make but I kne...